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Two Silly Poems

petits fours by Erica

 

The Sparrow at the Store

I saw a sparrow at the grocery store.
I offered to show him the way to the door.
“Thanks,” he said, “but there’s one thing more.
Do you know where they keep the petits four?”

 

 


 

The Secret of the Cat

What’s the secret
Of the domesticated cat?
She understands you perfectly,
But doesn’t care to chat.

Goodness, I’ve been grumpy. I hope it’s just the weather and the gray skies. I thought I’d use this week’s post to try to improve my mood. I got out my Ogden Nash poems. They always do the trick. Then I decided to write some of my own silly animal poems. I’ve posted yesterday’s work above. I hope it brings a little warmth to your winter.

 

For more Poetry Friday, go to Teaching Authors.

(c) 2013 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

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Detour

On my way to the desk
I tripped on the rug.
When I looked to see why
I found my lost bug!

I tucked the blue cockroach
In my box of cool rocks,
And that’s where I found
My best holey socks.

Lying there, crumpled
They looked like a cat.
Except without ears.
I had to fix that.

I grabbed an old t-shirt
I started to cut.
I noticed the shirt had
A hole in the gut.

I got a red marker.
I started to sing.
I hit the right note
To make my walls ring.

That’s when my mom
Knocked on the door.
I put on the shirt.
I dropped to the floor.

“Where is your homework?”
She asked without blinking.
To my desk I waved weakly.  
My poor heart was sinking.

“Then why are you there?”
She sounded unsure.
I answered her truly:
“I took a detour.”

© 2012 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

I wrote this in response to David L. Harrison’s April word-of-the-month challenge http://davidlharrison.wordpress.com/adult-word-of-the-month-poem/. Unfortunately, I never got to post it there because I didn’t finish until May. I took a detour.

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Poke That Pea!

Poke that pea.
Don’t stop at one.
Spear a pair.
Peas are fun.
Stab two more.
Fill the tips. 
Four green corks
Guard your lips.
Keep on jabbing.
Pack the tines.
String more beads.
Cram the lines. 
When your fork is
Fully loaded,
When your steel is
Fully coated,
Pull the spines
Between your teeth.
Slip the blade
From its sheath.
Like Ali Baba
And the Forty Thieves,
Swipe the silver and
Finish the peas!
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Chippy Chap

Red Squirrel by Eric Begin
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericbegin/3506296898

I met a squirrel—
A chippy chap.
He wore his tail
Like a baseball cap.
When I threw
A nut his way
He hit it home
And ran away.
© 2012 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

One day when I was out walking I saw a squirrel with his tail curled over his head like a cap. He seemed to be saying, “Like my hat?” This poem is for him. Or her. What funny things did you see today?

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A Shoe for Tying

When learning to tie,
You should give it a try
On a carefully chosen shoe.
The shoe should be new,
Preferably blue,
Extra large too,
Not belonging to you.
The shoe should have laces,
And never make faces
When fingers go places
There shouldn’t be spaces.
Its tongue must not fight
Even if you should bite
While pulling it tight
With all of your might.
Its toe must not tap
To your shoe-tying rap.
It should sit in your lap
And take a nice nap,
Though it might feel a whap
As its strings flip and flap.
The shoe must sit still
No matter how shrill
You scream with the thrill
Of tying it.


© 2012 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

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Bad Homework

photo of Joe, a.k.a. Sophie by Susan Pittman

My homework was bad.
It was long and hard too,
but I’d heard people talk.
I knew what to do.

I found my dog Joe.
I showed him the stuff.
“Here, Joe!” I said.
All Joe said was “Ruff?”

I crumpled the pages.
“Fetch!” I told Joe,
but he sat by my feet
drooling, “Where did it go?”

I tore it to shreds.
I mixed it with stew.
I filled up his bowl.
I said, “Here, boy! For you!”

Joe took a good sniff.
He whined, then he beat it.
I had homework so bad,
my dog wouldn’t eat it.

© 2012 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

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My Two Front Teeth

My two front teeth fell out.
I wiggled and I tugged,
Then I sold them to a fairy
For a nickel and a slug.
I waited and I waited
For my two new teeth to grow.
I had to be real patient
‘Cause they came in awful slow.
Now that they’ve arrived,
I think there’s some mistake.
These teeth are way too big.
I think they might be fake.
I need to call that fairy.
I know the deal’s been made,
But I liked my old ones better.
Do you think she’d make a trade?

© 2012 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

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The Ants Invaded Kindergarten

The ants invaded Kindergarten
When we went out to play.
They ate our jelly crackers,
And they threw our plates away.
They sorted all the buttons
Into black and brown and not.
They must have moved the lizard
‘Cause he wasn’t in his spot.
They painted with the green,
But they seemed to use their feet. 
Then they used the toilet,
And they didn’t raise the seat.
We think they played pretend
‘Cause the hats were on the floor.
They used the wooden blocks
To make a village with a store. 
They changed the daily calendar.
Today’s now Saturday.
They pulled out all the alpha-books
And opened them to A.
They must have gotten tired
‘Cause when we came up the stairs
They all were sleeping soundly
In our cozy reading chairs.
The ants invaded Kindergarten
When we went out to play.
They seemed to have such fun,
We invited them to stay.

© 2011 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved
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The Monster in the Closet

There’s a monster hiding there—

Right behind that door.
And though it’s quiet now
It makes an awful roar.
It has a gaping mouth
That never needs to close,
And it can swallow anything
Even people’s toes.
But what is worst of all—
It never runs away
Because my mother lets it out
And helps it to its prey. 

© 2011 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

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Ah-Choo!

On my way to the park
I felt a light breeze.
My nose sniffed a tickle.
I erupted a sneeze.
It must have been catching,
‘Cause right after me
Hundreds of birds
Got sneezed by a tree.


© 2011 Elizabeth Ehrenfest Steinglass, all rights reserved

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